Friendship

I don’t know why I feel the impact of Caroline Flack’s suicide as much as I do. I’m not the only one – my what’s app groups and Facebook feeds are full of shock and sadness. Maybe it’s because she was/is such a gorgeous vivacious woman; one who just seemed to laugh all the time but showed compassion too; a woman who openly said that she had no interest in settling down, having kids she just wanted to work and enjoy life. Maybe there is just a bit of Caroline in all of us which is why we’re hurting so much.

I listened to the start of Laura Whitmore’s Radio 5 broadcast today and it pretty much broke me; I’m sure the neighbours are fed up of me now listening to Angels nonstop this evening too.

Laura said she was sad Caroline felt she had no other option. So am I. I wish she could see the hurt that people are feeling; the anger about how she was treated, the love that she had.

Tonight, I’ve been chatting to my girlfriends in our ‘Love Island’ what’s app group… and we’ve all opened up to each other more than I think we have in a long time – our thoughts, our feelings, our weak spots, our hopes, our wishes. It shouldn’t take someone’s death to do this.

I’m sure there are many of us who don’t have it perfect; it’s not bad but we’d like more. For the sake of transparency, I said (texted) out loud to my girls tonight ‘how bloody difficult is it to find one person who looks after you and is always there to chat, to cuddle and to protect?’

And then in the same breadth I said that ‘actually the one person just needs to be a friend who happens to respond at the time you’re most needed’ and that’s true.

I can’t guarantee I’m ever going to meet the man I want to – gosh, I’m more open to it than ever and getting more propositions than ever but so far it’s not happened with the right person; but what I can guarantee is that I have a f***ing phenomenal group of male and female friends who will (and have) lifted me out of the dark days; make me laugh incessantly and who I hope I’ve returned the favour.

As people are saying now… Be Kind. You don’t have to speak every day, a little Facey, Twitter, Insta tag can be enough to say I’m thinking about you, you’re my friend.

Let’s raise a glass to friendship, to the ones you speak to nearly every day, the ones you don’t, the ones you remember because of a Facebook memory, the ones who are close by, the ones further away, the ones who have decided to take some distance for their own reasons. Regardless – we became friends for a reason and we always will be.

As Laura said – one day we’ll catch up with Caroline on the dancefloor, but in the meantime let’s keep dancing this thing called life together xx