Ever Felt in Limbo?

It’s been an odd couple of weeks…

At the start of January – as readers of this blog will know – I spent a few days creating my extensive plans for 2019 of which one was around career and finance with the aim of ‘to earn the amount of money I need to live and enjoy life – only working with companies that hold the same or similar values’. The short term goal was to have three clients by the end of March.

With the aid of my planning journal and extensive notes I hit the start of January hard to get my client base. I had a couple of knock backs: ‘We sell enough wine without having to have our phones permanently attached to us for social media’ said one lovely person…

However; on I went, I kept pursuing and even though I was starting to panic a little about my finances I kept to my plans.

Then over the course of a week everything started to move in the right direction. I was contacted by an ex-colleague about a contract role and one that I could do over three days a week – which felt pretty perfect; it would keep my hand in my traditional sphere of comms but would give flexibility to continue with my existing client and look for more.

I then got recommended for some freelancing work which would involve working from home; just one or two days a week; maybe on a project basis. Again absolutely perfect.

I met with a supplier friend of mine in the same week and rather unexpectedly it turned out that there could be some opportunities to work with his company offering advice to his clients on internal communications.

Then finally – in this same week – I met with a friend who used to be my boss and she also had some potential opportunities for me; both with her company and also through an ex-colleague we know.

And so; it came to pass that on that Friday afternoon I felt really excited; it seemed like it was all starting to pay off in theory. I treated myself to a take out and a bottle of red from the right bank -basically the rack on the right hand side of my cellar that houses the good stuff that is not just for quaffing! Overall I felt great.

I normally allocate Mondays as my West London Wine School day and that didn’t change the following week. However, on Tuesday I looked at the to-do list and thought; actually I don’t think that I should be trying to get more work in at the moment because if all of the above came to fruition then I might be getting work which then I can’t deliver. I still want flexibility to be with Rex, see friends and family and not do the 9-5. With this in mind I took the decision to stop progressing with the immediate career goals and the to-do list I created.

That same week Rex developed a limp which wouldn’t go away – I got him to the vets and he had to have a general anaesthetic to have x rays and was knocked out for a couple of days and was under strict instruction for complete rest; which for a border collie is quite difficult. So I was under house arrest for a while too.

I looked at my other goals. I had an extremely productive day on another aspect of the career side; I have a journal from all the years that I went clubbing in the early / mid 90s. It really is a sight to behold and I’m writing it up because I do believe that somewhere in there is a book and I have done for years. It’s one of my goals to have it written up in one format or another (novel or real life) by the end of the year. I started to plan the garden. I cooked new intricate meals. I finally went for it and got Netflix and binge watched the first series of The Crown in two days.

But oh my – I was starting to tear my hair out. I felt in total limbo. My mind is not one for rest. My personality is not one for non interaction. My ‘other’ goals are not as intensive as the career and finance ones obviously. A hierarchy of needs I suppose. On top of that – I then started to panic in case none of those opportunities came through and I had just wasted over a week with my ‘savings-pot-one’ reducing and an avid vow not to touch savings-pot-two. I had to pay for an MOT / Service / New Tyres / Car tax / insurance all in one go and in all honesty I was panicking – it all felt a bit s***.

There’s a goal in the book called ‘Spiritual’ and as I said when writing my goals I’m not that spiritual. But having a little faith does help.

On Monday I start the three day a week contract. I met a number of my new colleagues this week, I was made to feel incredibly welcome. There’s lots to do and it’s going to be a good challenge.

I’ve been in touch with my old boss and we’re meeting with our ex colleague in a couple of weeks for could be a very exciting conversation working with a super client. And working with friends is always a bonus!

And upon explaining my new situation to my supplier friend – it turns out; there’s still flexibility to work with him too.

Also – rather excitingly I’ve been accepted as an associate judge for the International Wine Challenge which I’m super happy about!

So as I sit here and pause for a moment; I feel like I’ve achieved one of my 2019 goals already and it’s only February. However; in this new world of working for myself and only with companies and people that I want to means the goal will never end because I’m always going to have to be one step ahead of myself, but for now I can tick the box; and importantly remember there are still many other goals to achieve which I can now focus on.